Over the years, I have been asked to help with situations that others believed were spiritual emergencies. In some cases, the concern involved evil spirits, possession, or unseen forces. What I learned from those experiences was not what I expected.
Two events from my past, separated by more than a decade and occurring in different states, taught me the same lesson.
The first took place in Virginia Beach around 1979 or 1980. A woman from a church I attended approached me after a service and expressed concern about her teenage son. She believed he was possessed. According to her, he isolated himself in his room, resisted family activities, and frequently argued with her.
A few days later, accompanied by a friend, I visited their home. After praying, we approached the young man’s room. He refused to open the door, but eventually agreed to talk through it.
As we talked, a very different picture emerged. He was not displaying hatred toward God, fear of believers, or signs of possession. He was frustrated. He felt pressured into activities he did not enjoy and believed his opinions were never heard. What appeared to be rebellion was largely the result of a growing divide between a mother and her son.
Years later, in Jacksonville, Florida, I encountered a remarkably similar situation. Once again, concerned parents believed their teenage son was under spiritual attack. This young man was deeply interested in fantasy gaming, particularly Dungeons & Dragons, which many Christians at that time viewed with suspicion.
My friend and I visited the home and spent time talking with him. He was respectful and willing to engage in conversation. We prayed together, and during that encounter he became visibly emotional. To this day, I cannot fully explain everything that occurred. Others who witnessed it drew their own conclusions. I am content to leave certain matters in God’s hands.
What I can say is that, once again, the deeper issue was not what everyone assumed. The young man was struggling under expectations placed upon him by parents who sincerely loved him but feared where his interests might lead. The conflict was not primarily about a game. It was about communication, trust, and understanding.
Both experiences taught me something important. People often focus on symptoms while overlooking causes.
Scripture repeatedly warns against this tendency. When Samuel looked upon Jesse’s sons, he assumed the oldest and strongest must be God’s chosen king. Yet the Lord corrected him, saying, “for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7, NASB95).
The same pattern appears throughout Scripture. Job’s friends saw suffering and assumed judgment. The disciples saw a blind man and assumed someone’s sin was responsible. The religious leaders saw Jesus healing on the Sabbath and concluded He was violating God’s law. In every case, people confidently identified the visible symptom while missing the deeper reality.
We continue to do the same today.
A child withdraws from family activities, and we immediately search for a spiritual explanation. A teenager questions assumptions, and we interpret it as rebellion. A believer struggles, and we conclude they must be drifting from God. Sometimes those conclusions are correct. Often they are not. Discernment requires more than observation. It requires listening.
One of the greatest challenges in ministry, counseling, and everyday relationships is learning to distinguish between what is visible and what is actually driving the behavior we see. Symptoms reveal that something is wrong. They do not always reveal what is wrong.
Genesis chapter three provides one of the earliest examples. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. Both identified immediate causes, yet the deeper issue was a loss of trust in God’s word. The visible actions were only symptoms of a fracture that had already occurred within the heart.
The same principle applies today.
When relationships begin to break down, we often search for dramatic explanations. We look for someone to blame. We look for a visible enemy. We look for a quick solution.
Yet many times the deeper issue is much closer to home. Misunderstood expectations, wounded trust, fear, pride, poor communication, and broken relationships often create problems that cannot be solved by addressing symptoms alone.
Looking back, the lasting lesson from those two encounters was not about possession or spiritual manifestations. It was about discernment.
The visible problem is not always the real problem.
Wisdom begins when we stop reacting to appearances and start seeking understanding. People become so fascinated with a single tree that they lose sight of the landscape.
The Lord, however, sees the entire forest.
Personal Reflection by Michael Kovach
Covenant Light Publishing
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